golden hand: No. 2, the Elderly Gestation

So I'm finally sharing the news with our readers! It's been rather difficult to find things to write about while carrying such a secret, but worth it in order to be sure we were good thus far. FYI, this being my second pregnancy, the telltale sign was for sure severe tenderness of the breasts. When in doubt, test. And test again. Good thing I did!

Of course, we are over the moon that Colin will have a little playmate before his third birthday and are anxious to start preparations for Baby Hill #2. Having said that, I have gone into this pregnancy with quite a bit of apprehension as well. As I'm fairly certain it's common to have fears with any pregnancy, I found myself initially consumed with one in particular and needing to step back and find comfort in the joy that this new baby is actually going to bring.

So, try that one on for size... Not even over the hill or close to it, and considered geriatric. When the woman at my doctor's office used the technical term for my next pregnancy at my last appointment, I about choke-slammed her. Seriously? I'm 36 and I feel like they're going to hand me a cane and a bag full of Depends, Ben Gay and arthritis medicine on the way out of my first appointment. Bad enough that my biological clock is barely ticking anymore, but the outside world considers me of advanced maternal age? Nice.

But, ok, I get it, you shouldn't worry about what other people think. So let's say I don't. The fact remains that a woman over 35 goes into pregnancy with more cards stacked against her. Now, while that doesn't bother me for myself, what about that poor tiny, developing baby?? Let's consider the biggies in the risk department for us geriatrics: greater risk of miscarriage, higher risk of multiples and birth defects, pre-term labor, greater risk of c-section or still birth, etc.

Holy shit. I mean, as a mother, we worry about the day-to-day goings on during our normal pregnancies, enough to download at least one of the hundreds of apps with the daily development and sizes according to fruits we've never heard of. (What in the hell is a kumquat??) But, now I'm thinking of the steps I can take to help avoid the what-ifs of being older.

We always knew we wanted Colin to have a sibling, so this pregnancy was definitely not a shock. That said, when I stopped taking my birth control, I tried to be proactive as my friendly OB recommended and started a prenatal. When I was pregnant with Colin, I opted for the generic brand from Target and stuck with those until I was through nursing him. Pretty basic, not much thought. This go-round I wanted to do a bit more and provide every little extra I could for my little one. A good friend introduced me to a fabulous, all natural brand of vitamins called Rainbow Light. Now she has been known to take up to 20 odd supplements a day. I am so not that dedicated, but for this baby, I knew I wanted to look at what I could do to nurture the development as much as possible. They have this incredible prenatal specifically made for "Moms age 35+." They started out winning points for not calling me old.

the magic

But the key for me was the emphasis on brain and nervous system development. Since advanced maternal age can affect those directly, I was convinced to spend the little bit of extra money and go with these prenatals. They are all natural, of course, but also contain ginger to help ease the tummy and B vitamins for energy. The only drawback I've been able to find is that you need to take three a day. This has been a hard habit to develop, but so worth it, especially if it really helps protect my teeny tiny.

Now, we all come into pregnancy expecting a boatload of testing, including the all too few ultrasounds that give us peeks at baby. The bloodwork, the measuring, the weighing, the finger pricking, pelvic exams, ad nauseam. All of these tests are routine and all are in an effort to ensure baby's health. However, the older mommy gets, the more tests are added to the list. And, for the most part, the more invasive they become, ie: CVS (Chorionic Villus Sampling) and Amniocentesis. Both of these are done with needles inserted into the uterus to screen for different types of chromosomal anomalies. The thought of a needle being inserted anywhere near my fragile developing child makes my blood run cold. I know the people that administer these tests are experts, but there are no guarantees.

Imagine my elation at my eight week appointment when I found out that waiting to get pregnant at this advanced age actually benefits not only me, but my sweet baby! First, the advances for prenatal testing...One inclusive test that covers chromosomal anomalies, several other diseases, as well as detecting baby's gender as early as 10 weeks.

Harmony Prenatal Test

Ladies, with a simple blood test, you can discover more accurate and completely non-invasive results for your baby's health based on their DNA. I didn't believe it was possible, but having taken mine not even a week ago, and doing tons of research, I am on board! Not only will we be prepared should baby have any problems in development, but also, OCD mommy can prep that nursery starting at 12 weeks! Testing shows that "The harmony test is 99% accurate for gender prediction while an ultrasound is 95% accurate for gender prediction." (according to TrimesterTalk.com) And this is real life now, people.

My second worry-reliever during this nine month journey has been a little pill that was prescribed to me only a week ago. Y'all, Declegis, it's a tiny miracle. When I was pregnant with Colin, I had pretty bad "morning" sickness most days, all day. Now, I wasn't Princess Kate throwing up, losing weight sick, but enough to make me sufficiently miserable, daily. So, naturally with this second pregnancy, I expected much of the same and indeed it has been. My poor husband must think I'm just saying I don't feel good by habit anymore. So last week, I'm filling out the paperwork as usual and they ask about my pregnancy symptoms. Um, exhausted, feel like vomiting whenever I'm awake...I thought those went without saying. Turns out, not so much. Then they handed me some samples.

Simply amazing. The dosage again, takes some getting used to (at least two hours after eating and once first thing in the morning), and for the narcoleptic that I currently am, some alarm setting, but I haven't felt so good in weeks! I've actually been able to function through rocking Colin before bed, which last week nearly made me puke. Amazing!

So, being elderly aside, nausea abated, and baby's health in check, I am down to the typical new mommy again worries; Will I love this child as much as my first? Am I capable of that type of love twice? Do I have this mommy thing down, since I've done it once? And, since my first child has been a dream baby, will my next one be awful (cause if one more person tells me this one, I may have to do them bodily harm)?

But I have to tell you, the bigger picture makes these seem easy to deal with. I know I will love this baby just as much as I love Colin, because I didn't know this type of love until I held him on my chest. I know I don't know everything about being a mommy, since I'm still learning everyday. And every child is unique and wonderful. And, God will give me the baby I'm meant to have, regardless of personality because we were meant for each other.

Funny, right after I had Colin (days post partum), I saw a doctor that's a family friend for chest pains. They were merely stress related, which made me feel foolish, but I think we tend to underestimate ourselves. Our bodies endure quite a lot for our babies. At that time I was astounded at the fact that women would voluntarily do this numerous times. Dr. Alan told me that mothers have temporary amnesia when it comes to delivering their children. Everything that we think is painful and difficult fades and the joy and love that being the mommy to that child brings, overwhelms all else.

I've decided to let my mommy amnesia kick in early this time. I'm going to enjoy this geriatric pregnancy for all that it is, as it will be the last time I will do it. I'm going to allow the joy that this child will bring to our lives keep the worries at bay. Hell, maybe I'll even let them hold my cane once in a while!

Harmony results to come! XO