Ahhhh yes, the relief of heading into trimester #2. Am I right, ladies?? Less exhausted, less nausea, more energy and more feeling like you! FALSE. I am more tired the last week than I have been throughout this pregnancy so far AND I'm faced with the daily nightmare of deciding what to wear. Guys, I hate being a working mommy and getting up early and getting dressed on a regular day. But now, I absolutely dread it.
Before I go further with this, let me give a quick caveat: I am thrilled to be expecting baby boy #2 and can't wait to squeeze and love on him. However, I am not a fan of being pregnant. I wasn't the first go-round and that hasn't changed. I commend the women that enjoy it, but I'm certain that I've never felt worse than I do during the first half of my pregnancies. I'm sure there is judgment from some women, but I have to be real and say what I feel, or I won't be me. Also, I'm not a fit person in normal time, so that certainly doesn't help during the time when you're "allowed to gain weight." Hey, guess what...when your doctor says that, she means like 25 lbs, Kate...not 50! See bachelorette #3 down below (next to teeny and tiny), who I lovingly refer to as Clydesdale Kate. PS, who ever made maternity clothes with stripes??
So, back to my closet, which by the way looks like a small bomb exploded in it, since I'm too tired to do laundry until the weekends and have to try on roughly 27 outfits a day, before I ultimately put on one of the first that I tried. The most fantastic part of this "in-between" stage is that it comes sooner with your second pregnancy. YAY So, when I thought I was developing a bump with sweet Colin and I was pushing 5 months, I looked like this, :
I should have been grateful. Cause guess what folks? That's way too close to how I look today. Day two of my second trimester. 3 MONTHS in.
Rude, indeed! So, I try to squeeze every last moment I can in my "regular" clothes, using whatever means necessary, but rubber bands only hold for so long and when you have to pee every 20 minutes, it's hardly convenient. The beauty part of this whole situation, is when you finally admit you should bust out those garbage bags of maternity clothes and examine whether any of them will work for you currently, you find that they don't fit either. Seriously? If you need me, I'll be in my granny panties and too small bra, on the floor of my closet, sobbing. Even better than that, while you prep for baby and how much money you won't have for all of the necessities, you try to figure out how you can possibly go out and pick up some better fitting maternity jeans. You know, ones that aren't dubbed "mom jeans," ones that have a built-in belly that you can neatly tuck up under your bra (cause let's be real, those under-belly things are a joke), and ones that actually come in long/tall so that you don't look like you're going digging for clams. Leaving you with the following for your "perfect" outfit:
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This does not count as business casual, FYI. So, instead I have been the Muffin Top Gal, daily at work and miserable as a result. You think taking off your bra at night is relieving? Changing into jammies has become releasing the Kraken for this girl! And all the while, my sweet husband has told me how "hot" I look. Thank you, sweetie for whatever you are seeing that is attractive and thank you, God for giving him the eyes that can see it.
And, if the constant paranoia of what is hanging over my pants is not enough, you can add those adorably pregnant girls that remain tiny until delivery and magically pop back into their pre-baby bump jeans the day they come home from the hospital. (Tried that one after Col was born and I'm sure that factored into my chest pains following.) You know them. There are tons of them on social media these days, rubbing it in. Alllll baby.
Ok, you are not real. You can't be. Look at the picture on the right. I mean, these women are the same amount of weeks into their pregnancies. Same. The reason this is infuriating to me is mostly because I'm SO the one on the right, or will be shortly. I'm one of those girls that carried her baby everywhere, including my already bulbous nose. I don't intend to be huge this time, but my body is not made for teeny. It just isn't in me (as evidenced from the picture above). Amen to you for being able to maintain a healthy lifestyle, but Mama likes to eat.
For those of you that are in my boat, there are ways to combat it. I have been reading up on tons of them, in order to keep myself in the right mindset. I found this great little list on dealing with the "fat stage" from fellow blogger, Beth at Nothing but Neutral that has helped me turn a corner. She is stylish and witty, and her tips are helping to center me back on what's important here, my sweet boy! So, taking Beth's advice, I am pulling out all of my loose shirts, heeled shoes, and started eating more healthily. Salads galore over here, though like her, I have to indulge my sweet tooth every now and then.
I'm not going to extremes, but I am trying to be more conscious of what I'm putting into my body. Colin is even benefiting some with several trips a week to local parks in the afternoons to keep this and his growing body moving. I definitely won't be one of the women who develops Pregorexia. No, seriously, it's a thing. Some women make extreme efforts "to control pregnancy weight gain through extreme dieting and exercise." There is no danger for me here, as I basically loathe exercise and very much enjoy food. However, I do see how this stage could push one to it.
That said, I am going to remind myself that I am more conscious of the changes than anyone and that perhaps I need to cut myself a little slack. I am doing this all for the baby boy that I can't wait to meet in just 6 more months. I am lucky to be blessed with this opportunity and need to keep that foremost in my mind. But, I warn you, don't let me catch you staring anywhere near my mid-section these days. I may be able to fool myself, but you don't mess with a prego lady. Point out the weight gain, and
No lie. Bon Qui Qui knows.
And as a distraction from the current horror of my body changing and closet status, I am redesigning our guest bathroom for our boys this weekend--so stay tuned! Can't wait to share it with you!
xo
